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You know you’re a pigeon flyer if…..
Sometimes we forget how funny we are to those outside our pigeon culture. After listening to one of my favorite comedians, Jeff Foxworthy, on the Blue Collar Comedy Network, I decided I wanted to borrow from his routine. His stand-up routine always includes a segment entitled, “You know you’re a redneck if……” He makes light of the attributes of rednecks, he is one, and by the end of his routine, he has the audience smiling, nodding in agreement and laughing.
Yes, there is a pigeon culture, with culture being defined as a learned set of beliefs, values, rules and social practices which affect the behaviors of a group of people (Lucas, 2007). As pigeon flyers we unknowingly have developed some values and beliefs and even a language all our own that we, and other flyers, are very familiar with, but those outside the group are not. We laugh when we listen to comedians point out the stereotypical adjectives that are applied to various groups, yet, within those words of comedy, there rings an element of truth. That truth is what makes it so funny. Thinking about it, there are so many funny things that apply to pigeon flyers that I decided I wanted to take Foxworthy’s “You know you’re a redneck if….”, and apply it to pigeon flyers. I hope you have as much fun reading these as I’ve had coming up with them.
You know you’re a pigeon flyer if……
Your wife asks you to go to the store and buy protein bars and you ask "11% or 16%".
Your wife asks you when will you be in for dinner and you say "15 minutes" and 2 hours later you come in to eat.
"Cleaning up" to go to the pigeon club meeting means "forget it, there’s only guys there."
When you’ve been with the pigeons all afternoon then come in the house, your kids ask, "Mom, what’s that smell?" and you don’t think they’re talking about you.
Your best friends know what you mean when you ask, “when’s knock off?”
Your idea of a “night off” means shipping birds.
You have more feathers on your head than hair.
You know all the dates the young birds need to be banded, but you can’t remember the date of your anniversary.
You can spend hours talking to other flyers, but have nothing to say when your spouse says, “Let’s talk.”
When wives occasionally come to the club meeting, the president has to make an announcement, “there’s women here tonight, watch your language.”
You won’t change the baby’s diapers because it’s gross, but think nothing of scraping pigeon poop all afternoon.
The first thing on your monthly budget is the word FEED and it doesn’t mean for your family.
In your club photos the men outnumber the women 9 to 1.
The perfect vehicle is the one that holds the most carrying cases.
You’re no airline pilot, but you know all about flights.
You borrow rice from your kitchen cupboards, not to eat, but for the birds.
Your wife wants to go out to eat and you say “it’s too expensive”. But, you jump at the chance to enter a one-loft race.
You think it’s dumb that people watch movie sequels like Rocky I, II, III, but you’ve watched Secrets of Champions I, II, III, more than 5 times.
You know who OLD HAND is.
Your wife asks you to pick up some corn at the store for dinner and you ask, “hybrid or popcorn?”
You make sure the ventilation is good in the loft, but balk at the idea of having to check the air conditioning or heating filters in your house.
The magazine that can be found under your mattress is the Racing Pigeon Digest.
When someone is talking about Janssen, you know they aren’t talking about swimsuits.
Your pick-up line has changed from “what’s your sign”, to “what’s your eye sign?”
Your artistic friends have nothing on you, they have their loft, and you have yours!
On race day looking at the sky is more important than looking at your wife.
The clocking time on your first race bird is a bigger secret at the club knockoff than how much you earn each year.
When another flyer is talking about single strains, you know they don’t mean the flu.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas applies to the Vegas Classic too.
You never make vacation plans during old bird or young bird flying seasons.
With your wife sitting next to you, you look at the pigeon you purchased from Belgium and say in all honesty, “now that’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!”
If the Coke machine at your club house contains more Bud Light than Coke.
When you buy the refrigerator for your Man Cave (loft) to hold all your medications, you make sure it will also hold at least a 12-pack or a bottle of wine.
Your favorite John Wayne movie is True Grit.
You have no idea how to judge a diamond, but know how to put on the eye glass and take your pigeon outside to look at their eye sign.
When the Iron Chef from the food channel uses the word “squab” for delicacy dishes, making it seem like it’s a unique item, you yell at the screen,” it’s a pigeon, it’s just a pigeon!”
You take your kids to the beach for the day and then confiscate all their shells to smash and put into your grit bowls.
The doctors on Grey’s Anatomy have nothing on you. You have your mask too.
You spend more time picking out colors for snap on bands than you do picking out a present for your wife.
When you get catalogs from Jedds, Global or Siegel, you feel like a kid in a candy store.
You don’t understand why your wife needs to have scented bath salts, but you make sure you are not out of bath salts for the pigeons.
Your pigeon smock is larger than your wife’s when she was 9 months pregnant.
You don’t understand why the room goes quiet, when talking with your non-pigeon flyer friends, you start talking about cocks and hens.
You know that the Snowbird has nothing to do with skis.
When you’ve eaten a bit too much, you’re tempted to use Health-Gard on yourself.
You will treat your birds for worms, parasites, canker, respiratory, give vaccines, amino acids, vitamins, but you won’t go to the doctor unless your wife makes you go.
Next to pigeons, crows are your next favorite bird.
If flyers are taking about the World Ace Challenge, you know they don’t mean Ace Hardware.
Your favorite hat is a baseball cap.
You pay your auto insurance late, but never your AU Membership fees.
These are just a few of the “you know you’re a pigeon flyer if…..” comments I have for now. I bet you can come up with a few yourselves. If you do, e-mail me and I’ll include them in another article. We forget to look at ourselves and see how funny we behave and sound. It’s fun to sit back and have a good laugh at ourselves. For one thing, humor adds years to our lifespan and it’s good NOT to take ourselves so seriously! As always, I’ve taken another look at pigeon flyers from a Chick’s Point of View!
Sometimes we forget how funny we are to those outside our pigeon culture. After listening to one of my favorite comedians, Jeff Foxworthy, on the Blue Collar Comedy Network, I decided I wanted to borrow from his routine. His stand-up routine always includes a segment entitled, “You know you’re a redneck if……” He makes light of the attributes of rednecks, he is one, and by the end of his routine, he has the audience smiling, nodding in agreement and laughing.
Yes, there is a pigeon culture, with culture being defined as a learned set of beliefs, values, rules and social practices which affect the behaviors of a group of people (Lucas, 2007). As pigeon flyers we unknowingly have developed some values and beliefs and even a language all our own that we, and other flyers, are very familiar with, but those outside the group are not. We laugh when we listen to comedians point out the stereotypical adjectives that are applied to various groups, yet, within those words of comedy, there rings an element of truth. That truth is what makes it so funny. Thinking about it, there are so many funny things that apply to pigeon flyers that I decided I wanted to take Foxworthy’s “You know you’re a redneck if….”, and apply it to pigeon flyers. I hope you have as much fun reading these as I’ve had coming up with them.
You know you’re a pigeon flyer if……
Your wife asks you to go to the store and buy protein bars and you ask "11% or 16%".
Your wife asks you when will you be in for dinner and you say "15 minutes" and 2 hours later you come in to eat.
"Cleaning up" to go to the pigeon club meeting means "forget it, there’s only guys there."
When you’ve been with the pigeons all afternoon then come in the house, your kids ask, "Mom, what’s that smell?" and you don’t think they’re talking about you.
Your best friends know what you mean when you ask, “when’s knock off?”
Your idea of a “night off” means shipping birds.
You have more feathers on your head than hair.
You know all the dates the young birds need to be banded, but you can’t remember the date of your anniversary.
You can spend hours talking to other flyers, but have nothing to say when your spouse says, “Let’s talk.”
When wives occasionally come to the club meeting, the president has to make an announcement, “there’s women here tonight, watch your language.”
You won’t change the baby’s diapers because it’s gross, but think nothing of scraping pigeon poop all afternoon.
The first thing on your monthly budget is the word FEED and it doesn’t mean for your family.
In your club photos the men outnumber the women 9 to 1.
The perfect vehicle is the one that holds the most carrying cases.
You’re no airline pilot, but you know all about flights.
You borrow rice from your kitchen cupboards, not to eat, but for the birds.
Your wife wants to go out to eat and you say “it’s too expensive”. But, you jump at the chance to enter a one-loft race.
You think it’s dumb that people watch movie sequels like Rocky I, II, III, but you’ve watched Secrets of Champions I, II, III, more than 5 times.
You know who OLD HAND is.
Your wife asks you to pick up some corn at the store for dinner and you ask, “hybrid or popcorn?”
You make sure the ventilation is good in the loft, but balk at the idea of having to check the air conditioning or heating filters in your house.
The magazine that can be found under your mattress is the Racing Pigeon Digest.
When someone is talking about Janssen, you know they aren’t talking about swimsuits.
Your pick-up line has changed from “what’s your sign”, to “what’s your eye sign?”
Your artistic friends have nothing on you, they have their loft, and you have yours!
On race day looking at the sky is more important than looking at your wife.
The clocking time on your first race bird is a bigger secret at the club knockoff than how much you earn each year.
When another flyer is talking about single strains, you know they don’t mean the flu.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas applies to the Vegas Classic too.
You never make vacation plans during old bird or young bird flying seasons.
With your wife sitting next to you, you look at the pigeon you purchased from Belgium and say in all honesty, “now that’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!”
If the Coke machine at your club house contains more Bud Light than Coke.
When you buy the refrigerator for your Man Cave (loft) to hold all your medications, you make sure it will also hold at least a 12-pack or a bottle of wine.
Your favorite John Wayne movie is True Grit.
You have no idea how to judge a diamond, but know how to put on the eye glass and take your pigeon outside to look at their eye sign.
When the Iron Chef from the food channel uses the word “squab” for delicacy dishes, making it seem like it’s a unique item, you yell at the screen,” it’s a pigeon, it’s just a pigeon!”
You take your kids to the beach for the day and then confiscate all their shells to smash and put into your grit bowls.
The doctors on Grey’s Anatomy have nothing on you. You have your mask too.
You spend more time picking out colors for snap on bands than you do picking out a present for your wife.
When you get catalogs from Jedds, Global or Siegel, you feel like a kid in a candy store.
You don’t understand why your wife needs to have scented bath salts, but you make sure you are not out of bath salts for the pigeons.
Your pigeon smock is larger than your wife’s when she was 9 months pregnant.
You don’t understand why the room goes quiet, when talking with your non-pigeon flyer friends, you start talking about cocks and hens.
You know that the Snowbird has nothing to do with skis.
When you’ve eaten a bit too much, you’re tempted to use Health-Gard on yourself.
You will treat your birds for worms, parasites, canker, respiratory, give vaccines, amino acids, vitamins, but you won’t go to the doctor unless your wife makes you go.
Next to pigeons, crows are your next favorite bird.
If flyers are taking about the World Ace Challenge, you know they don’t mean Ace Hardware.
Your favorite hat is a baseball cap.
You pay your auto insurance late, but never your AU Membership fees.
These are just a few of the “you know you’re a pigeon flyer if…..” comments I have for now. I bet you can come up with a few yourselves. If you do, e-mail me and I’ll include them in another article. We forget to look at ourselves and see how funny we behave and sound. It’s fun to sit back and have a good laugh at ourselves. For one thing, humor adds years to our lifespan and it’s good NOT to take ourselves so seriously! As always, I’ve taken another look at pigeon flyers from a Chick’s Point of View!
